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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Getting Tough With Yourself

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Getting Tough With Yourself

Editor's note: This is guest post from Marcus Brotherton. It originally ran on Men Who Lead Well (www.marcusbrotherton.com).

One harmful mindset that can keep a man from fulfilling his calling and potential is self-coddling. This is when he convinces himself he deserves a break, and runs to something that ultimately harms himself.

The WWII Marines of K/3/5 had been fighting on Guadalcanal for weeks. C-rations had run out, and the men ate twice daily portions of coconuts and wormy rice they'd confiscated from the Japanese.

Sid Phillips, left, with W.O. Brown

PFC Sid Phillips (featured in HBO's The Pacific) grew increasingly concerned for his hometown friend, W.O. Brown, racked with severe dysentery. Everything W.O. tried to eat ran straight through him. There was no medicine. No cots to lie on. The sick were simply stretched out on the ground. W.O. grew so emaciated he was too weak even to sit up. Flies covered him as he lay in his own diarrhea.

"It was bad," Phillips reported in an interview with me. "I didn't think W.O. was going to survive."

Each day, Phillips carried W.O. to the ocean and helped him get clean. I asked Phillips if he remembered any specific conversations he had with W.O. during these times of carrying him. Here, I was expecting a poignant story. I pictured this young battle-hardened Marine carrying his nearly-dead buddy to the water. "Keep holding on," Phillips would whisper. "Have courage. Just think of mom and apple pie." Something like that.

But Phillips just chuckled. "Oh yeah, I remember. I told W.O. to stop being such a faker and take a salt tablet."

The response threw me. I asked Phillips (who eventually became a medical doctor) what his strategy was.

"Well, it didn't help a man to overly commiserate with him," Phillips said. "If you did, it just depressed him. But if you kidded him, it made him smile. The ribbing was all good natured. He'd fire back some wisecrack at you, and soon he'd get to fighting again."

How does this apply to manhood today?

Phillips respected W.O. Brown as someone who had the capacity to get up and go on. So let's believe the same about ourselves.

Anytime a man is in a downed place—i.e. he's annoyed, angry, tired, hurt, lonely, stressed, or frustrated—he is tempted to become overly sympathetic with himself. He gets that insidious, creepy, pampering mindset that tells him he deserves a break—just this once.

I'm not talking about kicking back on the couch with a bag of Doritos. Not that kind of a break.

I'm talking about blowing it: the lie that it's okay to run to a favorite vice. We've all got them. We run to whatever ultimately harms us, because we've convinced ourselves it helps. It's the worst form of coddling.

What's the solution?

Get tough with yourself. Knock it off, ya faker. Take a salt tablet, and get back to the battle. Sure, frustrations exist. But you don't need that bottle. You don't need that porn. You don't need to give in to that moment of rage on the freeway. You've only convinced yourself you do.

By the way, the strategy works. W.O. Brown survived the dysentery—and the war.

All Photos Courtesy of Valor Studios

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Editor’s note: If you want to learn more about Sid Phillips I highly recommend watching this profile that was done of him for HBO’s The Pacific. A really great watch:


Related posts:

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  2. Toolmanship: How to Use a Screwdriver
  3. Return of the Tough Guy
  4. 12 Tools Every Man Should Have in His Toolbox
  5. The Perfect Hat For Your Ugly Mug



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The Weekly Huckberry Giveaway: July 20, 2012

Well our first weekly Huckberry giveaway was a gig hit! Over 2,000 of you entered to win something from the Huckberry shop. There were definitely a lot of drool-worthy items last week. The lucky man who walked away with the prize was:

Xander Lynn from Bunnell, FL. Xander will be receiving a pair of Peter Nappi Julius Chocolate boots ($695), courtesy of the gents at Huckberrry. Whoo-ee! Enjoy your new boots Xander and please keep us posted as to how it feels to wear seven hundred dollars on your feet.

My Picks This Week

My favorite items this week are a couple of things that were added to the Huckberry General Store (the line-up of which doesn’t change as often as the main store’s does). There’s a great Benchmade knife in there, as well as a really nice, Made in USA waxed canvas dopp kit from Buck and Ball. In the main store there’s a neat valet-type thing where you can keep your phone/wallet/keys…might be good for the man who was inspired to start using one after we suggested it in this week’s post about how to be punctual!

How to Enter the Giveaway

The Prize

Any item currently available in the Huckberry Store. Be sure to check out the current line-up of items as it changes every week.

How to Enter

1) Leave a comment sharing what you'd like to win

  • Sign up for Huckberry to gain access to their  store. You have to sign up because the store and the discounted prices are not available to the public. Just so we're clear, if you sign up for Huckberry, you're opting into receiving weekly emails from Huckberry on their exclusive deals. You can unsubscribe anytime you want.
  • Take a look around, pick one item you'd like, and leave a comment on this post sharing your selection.

Deadline to enter is July 26, 2012 at 5PM CDT.

We’ll then draw one random comment to select the winner. This lucky gent will get item they selected and shared in the comments.

Related posts:

  1. The Weekly Huckberry Giveaway: July 13, 2012
  2. Art of Manliness x Huckberry Father’s Day Gift Shop Giveaway
  3. Art of Manliness x Huckberry Holiday Gift Shop Giveaway
  4. Huckberry Giveaway: A Pie + Poem for Mom
  5. Mountain & Sackett Tie Giveaway: July 2011



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