By Brett & Kate McKay
| Brought to you by P&G. Need to buff up your style? Get the products men depend on. | We've covered the art of being a gentleman at work, on the field, in the air, and at a party. But there's one area of well-mannered comportment that often gets ignored: how to be a gentleman on the road. Bad behavior behind the wheel has its roots in the same thing that plagues internet civility: anonymity. Once we slip into the driver's seat and close the door, we feel sealed off from the rest of the world; we're "king of the road," and the sense of being in a protected pod sometimes gives us license to act in ways we would be ashamed of at more public, face-to-face gatherings. We could all use some friendly reminders on auto etiquette from time to time. It's a set of "manners" that truly meet at the intersection of safety and civility. Being a gentleman behind the wheel not only makes driving less dangerous for everyone, it also makes what can be a chore at least a little more pleasant. Some of what we'll talk about today is already enshrined in law, but often gets ignored. Other indiscretions may technically be lawful but make one's fellow drivers nuts. There are hundreds of things one could touch on — what we present below are those points that seem to be most often forgotten when we're zooming down the road. On the Highway 
Don't drive slowly in the left – passing – lane. This is one of those indiscretions that not only is a scourge to everyone's dad's blood pressure, but is against the law in many states. The left lane is for passing – slower traffic keep right! Driving slowly in the left lane forces people to pass on the right, and it can also form an impenetrable "roadblock" for the person behind you if you're going the same speed as the car in the other lane. If you're stuck behind a car in the left lane that won't move over, it's common to want to tailgate until they get the message. Try flashing your headlights instead. For whatever reason it feels a little more uncomfortable to do this rather than tailgating – it's less passive-aggressive I guess – but it's safer than riding their bumper. And if you're the offender, lost in belting out "Total Eclipse of the Heart" while cruising at 60 mph in the left lane, get over as soon as you see someone coming up behind you, and mend your ways ever after (both in your driving and your music choices). Maintain a consistent speed. One thing left-lane putterers will do to add insult to injury is to accelerate once someone behind them gives up and tries to pass on the right. Then a little while later they'll slow down again. Many times it's not even a conscious act; they just aren't paying enough attention to their surroundings. I remember one road trip where we must have passed, and been passed, by the same car 50 times in 500 miles. Cruise control is your friend. Do the zipper merge. This is admittedly something I've been doing wrong all my life and was completely unaware of before researching this article. When you're cruising a two-lane highway and see a sign saying, "Lane closed ahead," and instructing you to merge, what do you do? Probably start immediately getting over to the lane that will remain open. You're a gentleman – you plan ahead! Then, when that lane starts backing up, you curse at the scalawag who speeds past in the open lane right up to the last possible merge point. "That scoundrel!" you mutter. "I hope no one lets him in. And that someday weasels rips his flesh!" Ah, but here's the twist. That scoundrel is actually doing it right! This is an instance where it's possible to be too courteous. The safest, most effective way to merge when a lane ends on the highway is the zipper merge. Everyone uses both lanes of traffic until they reach the cut-off point, when they each take turns merging. You can see how it's done here. This reduces congestion and traffic back-up by as much as 40%. And as these kindly Minnesotans explain, one of the other benefits of the zipper merge is a marked reduction in road rage; next time you see someone driving up to the merge point, instead of becoming enraged, shake your cane and shout, "Huzzah! Carry on good sir!" On the Streets Don't block parking lot entrances/exits. When you're rolling to a stoplight, try not to come to a stop in front of parking lot exits and entrances. If a person is trying to turn out of one, they'll be ever so grateful for the space you leave that allows them to make a move. Let people into traffic when appropriate. In addition to letting people out of a parking lot when you're coming to a stop, it can be gentlemanly to let someone in front of you when the light turns green and traffic starts rolling again. But just let one guy go; the people behind you deserve to get where they're going too. And it's not truly courteous to stop and let someone in when there isn't congestion and you're not slowing down for a traffic light; stopping suddenly in moving traffic can be dangerous for the person behind you who isn't expecting it. Don't forget the thank you wave! If someone is kind enough to let you out of your neighborhood/parking lot, don't forget the thank you wave! It's an acknowledgement of their unnecessary, but very welcome courtesy. Not giving a wave says, "Of course you stopped – I'm entitled." Call in the weasels this time! Don't text (or talk on the phone unless absolutely necessary). This gets enough attention these days that I don't think I need to say too much. Don't do it. It's dumb. It kills people. Having spent half my life with a cell phone and half without, I can remember a time when you didn't have to be in touch with people while you were driving. You still don't. Use the horn sparingly. The beep is the equivalent of some guy shouting "HEY!" in an all-pedestrian society. It's your car's yell. And like all yelling, it's jarring, and unless it's truly needed, can come off as rude. Of course, there are geographic variations in the accepted use of the beep. In New York City it's just your car's way of periodically clearing its throat; in Tulsa, I can probably count the number of times I've heard a beep in the last few years on one hand. But in general, use your horn sparingly. Employ a loud beep to alert someone else of danger. If the light's turned green and the person ahead hasn't moved, give them a 5-second cushion before issuing a short, light beep – one that says, "Go on old chap," rather than, "Get moving you filthy animal!" Don't daydream at the light. On a related note, don't zone out a stoplight, thinking about how you might look in a pair of Chuck Norris action jeans. Be ready to go when the light turns green. 
Don't "block the box." The box is the middle of the intersection. People block it when the congested traffic in their lane is moving slowly through a green or yellow light, and when it turns red, their car becomes stranded at the center of the intersection with no room ahead to move up. Gridlock in the cross street results. Don't try to squeeze through an intersection or crawl through a turn when you're probably not going to make it all the way (and no, unfortunately, riding the bumper of the car ahead of you as closely as possible will not magically pull you through). Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and wait out another light cycle. Pull over for a funeral procession. This is an older tradition that I think is still worth preserving – it doesn't take that long and it shows respect for the deceased, the bereaved, and the circle of life. You can recognize a funeral procession as a line of cars all with their headlights on in the middle of the day. It's often led by police cars and/or a hearse, but not always. The idea here is to keep the line altogether, without other cars getting in-between. Obviously safety is always a top concern – if there's not a shoulder to pull to, don't do it. But do it when you can. Don't blast your music. Yes, saying this makes me feel about 80, and everyone enjoys listening to their tunes as they cruise with the windows down. Just don't make it so loud that it overpowers the folks in a car next to you at a stoplight. Turn it down a few notches once you start going slower and enter a neighborhood where residents could hear you. And turn down the dial once you pull into a parking lot – especially for church. Being subjected to your Nickelback is no way to begin a worship service, although it may have folks begging for salvation. Parking Don't take up more than one space. I understand that you don't want anyone to ding your sweet 1994 Camaro, but if you're concerned about its safety just park far away from other cars at the back of the lot. Sure, you'll have to walk a little farther, but your personal concern for your car should add inconvenience to your own life, not to others. Leave ample space between you and the cars next to you. Nobody likes to come out to their car to discover that they'll have to perform an elaborate shimmy to get back inside it. Even if you have to back out and back in again to get the ratio of space on each side right, take the extra minute to do it. Keeping Your Cool in Any Situation 
Road rage can frighten your passengers, cause you to make dangerous driving decisions, lead to a personal confrontation with another driver, and raise your blood pressure. It can also lead to awkward face-to-face encounters later! I've heard stories of people flipping off or riding the bumper of someone else in anger, and then both pulling into the same church or office parking lot. Doh! I have an AoM sticker on my car, and as the weather warms up and windows get rolled down, a few times people have pulled beside me at a stoplight, confirmed their suspicion by seeing my mustache, and asked, "Hey, are you the guy who runs the Art of Manliness? I love that site!" It's made me more aware of my driving; I don't want someone to say, "Hey are you the Art of Manliness guy? You just cut me off, you summabitch!" Follow these tips to keep your cool when you're behind the wheel. Offer others the same compassion you lavish on yourself. Almost all of us have had a time where we sped, rode people's bumper, changed lanes like a crazy man, and so on. When we did it, we didn't feel bad! We had to get to a wedding/birth/job interview, and we couldn't possibly be late. We attribute our infractions to the circumstances. Yet, when we see other people doing the same thing, we chalk it up to their clear character defect – what a jerk! Yet maybe they're on their way to the hospital too, eh? Grant others the same kind of leniency you give yourself. Don't try to "punish" people yourself. If a driver does something that ticks you off, you may be tempted to ride their bumper, flash your brights, or prevent them from getting over to your lane to show your displeasure and get some "revenge." But just like launching a rhetorical takedown of someone on the internet, all this does is make the person more angry and more sure that they're awesome and you're the dillweed. But unlike on the internet, there is real physical safety at risk when you stick up for your pride on the road. Showing such a scalawag that he was able to get under your skin and affect your mood just means that he "wins." If someone really is driving dangerously, don't go for short-term satisfaction in harassing them yourself, but instead call the police. They'll pull them over further down the road. Offer the "I'm sorry" wave. The gentleman driver isn't perfect. When you do something unintentionally to inconvenience or endanger someone else, own up to it and give the old "I'm sorry" wave. 
  
By Brett & Kate McKay
 Ardastra Gardens in Nassau, The Bahamas. Once again we return to our So You Want My Job series, in which we interview men who are employed in desirable jobs and ask them about the reality of their work and for advice on how men can live their dream. Compared to other government agencies like, say, the FBI or CIA, the Foreign Service doesn’t get a whole lot of attention. But becoming a Foreign Service Officer, also known as a diplomat, is a job you really should consider if you’re a man who enjoys travel and learning about other cultures, is looking for adventure, and, as the State Department puts it, “you’re passionate about public service” and have a desire to “promote peace, support prosperity, and protect American citizens while advancing the interests of the U.S. abroad.” Your assignments can take you to any of the 265 American embassies around the world, where you may be attending a swanky treaty event in Europe or fighting human trafficking in Africa. To learn more about this globe-trotting job, today we turn to Shawn Kobb, a diplomat currently working in Kabul, Afghanistan. If you’re interested in becoming a diplomat yourself, be sure to check out his website, Foreign Service Test, where he offers tips on passing the rigorous exam that’s part of the process of being picked for the job. 1. Tell us a little about yourself (Where are you from? How old are you? Describe your job and how long you’ve been at it, etc.). I was born in 1977 and grew up in a small town in northern Indiana. I went to Manchester University and studied Communications and Theater. In 2006 I joined the U.S. Department of State as a Foreign Service Officer, more commonly referred to as a diplomat. The Foreign Service has a wide variety of duties, but in short we are the face of the U.S. government around the world. We staff embassies and consulates in nearly every country of the world and provide assistance to American citizens overseas. I have lived and worked in Ukraine, the Bahamas, Washington, D.C., and right now I'm spending a year in Kabul, Afghanistan.
2. Why did you want to become a diplomat? When did you know it was what you wanted to do? I'm not really sure where I first heard about the Foreign Service. I know after 9/11 I started looking more at government jobs. I also had a passion for travel that was first sparked by a trip I took in college to Europe. Also, despite being a small school, Manchester University has always pulled in a lot of international students and I loved talking to them, learning about their culture. Finally, in 2004 I took the first part of the Foreign Service test. I found out I passed that portion while checking my email at an internet cafe in Bangkok as my wife and I were backpacking around the world. 3. What's the best way to prepare yourself to join the Foreign Service? What should you major in and what kinds of experiences and skills should you seek? To be honest, the sort of degree you go after doesn't make much difference. There is no educational requirement for the Foreign Service. You have to be able to pass the multi-part Foreign Service exam, though, and that requires a wealth of knowledge on many different subjects, particularly history, government, economics, geography, English, and popular culture. The best way to prepare is to be a well-rounded student and take classes in a variety of subjects. 4. What is the process for applying to the Foreign Service? There are several portions to the test and each must be passed before you can move along to the next step. First there is the written test which is much like any standardized test and includes an essay portion. If you pass that you will submit a resume and a set of personal narratives explaining your background and experiences. If you pass that portion you are invited to the dreaded oral assessment. This is a mix of interviews, case management exercises, and a group exercise along with other applicants where you play the role of embassy officers and have to solve a problem together while observed. Your passing score from the oral assessment determines your place on the register (the list the State Department pulls from)…that is assuming you also passed the medical and security checks. 5. What is the Foreign Service Officer test like? How should you prepare for it? The written test is best described as a mix of the SATs and the television game show Jeopardy. You can't just be a big book nerd and hope to pass because while one question may be about the export goods of Brazil, the next might be about the 1991 World Series or the comic strip Dilbert. The oral assessment is easier to prepare for, but much more challenging. Fortunately, there are websites, forums, and even in-person practice sessions conducted by the State Department to help. 6. How competitive is it to be selected as a Foreign Service Officer? What characteristics and background are they looking for in making their selections? Do you need to know a foreign language? Some have claimed the Foreign Service test is one of the toughest exams around. I haven't taken that many so I can't really say, but it is challenging. I don't know the exact pass rates, but I would guess around 30-40% pass the written and maybe 20-30% pass the oral assessment. I think what the State Department is really looking for is the right combination of knowledge and interpersonal skills. The Foreign Service is strange in that we both work and live with our colleagues overseas. If you are in a country like Yemen or Mozambique, it may be difficult to make friends in the local community so your co-workers are all you have. Foreign language skills are a bonus and can help boost your scores if you pass the exams, but they don't allow you to sneak in without taking the test. The State Department runs its own mini-university that teaches more than 80 foreign languages. I have been trained in Russian and will study German for my next assignment.  Me and my wife Jennifer at the recent Marine Ball in Kabul. 7. If you are selected, do you get any choice in where you are assigned to serve? Do you get a choice in what kind of job you'll be doing? For your first two tours you are considered an entry level officer and have your assignment directed. Still, you have a lot of say in where you go and it is rare that people are sent somewhere they are completely opposed to. After that you are tenured and commissioned by the President and bid on assignments. It is somewhat like applying for a new job every two or three years. You study the list of vacancies and then start lobbying to get the embassy to select you. The list of jobs includes not only the location, but also the type of position it is. 8. Speaking of which, what kinds of jobs are available? I am a Foreign Service Generalist which means that they type of assignments I receive can vary from tour to tour. At the same time, we also have a focus. Mine is in management. I tend to do jobs that involve running the embassy from HR to logistics to finance. An embassy overseas is essentially a small to medium-sized business. In my current assignment in Afghanistan, I supervise more than 40 employees and have responsibility for more than $100 million in assets. In addition to management, we have people who work in political, economic, consular, and public diplomacy career tracks. There are also Foreign Service Specialists who have a particular skill set and they stick with them. They are generally in IT, medical, security, engineering, and other fields. The hiring mechanism for them is slightly different. 9. What are some of the unique challenges of being a diplomat? One of the biggest challenges is also one of the greatest perks and that is living overseas. We move to a new country every few years so while that is exciting, it is also draining. I spend a lot of my life with my possessions in boxes, learning the quirks of a new country, and meeting all new co-workers. It is tough to maintain friendships, especially with those outside of the Foreign Service. We are also very poorly understood by the American public and do not receive much recognition for our efforts. For every “cush” spot around the world, we probably have five that can be quite difficult to live in. All of our posts have a hardship rating assigned to them ranging from 0% up to 35%. This percentage also comes with a boost in pay. We have the same thing for danger. For instance, London would be 0% hardship and danger because the standard of living is high and it isn’t particularly dangerous (apart from typical big city danger). I’m currently in Kabul and we are 35% hardship, 35% danger — the top of the chart. This is because living here is hard due to isolation, terrible air quality, little infrastructure, lack of medical support, and other day-to-day living factors. We’re at the top for danger because, well, there are a lot of people who would like to kill me if they caught me walking down the street. I have two sets of body armor and I had to take courses in hostage awareness, surveillance detection, weapons familiarization, combat first aid, and counter-assault driving just to come here. When I was assigned to Kyiv, Ukraine we had additional hardship pay because of the danger of fallout radiation from Chernobyl. In the Bahamas…no hardship pay there. 10. What are some of the unique benefits of being a diplomat? As I said, if you love to travel then the job is great. You can also be paid to learn a foreign language. Before heading off to my next assignment in Vienna, I will be in Washington, D.C. for seven months studying German full-time and being paid for it. We also receive free housing overseas and that is a great financial perk. Job security is also great and I've had a chance to experience a lot of fabulous events that most Americans can only dream of and have rubbed elbows with presidents, celebrities, and musicians. 11. What is the work/family/life balance like for you? Do diplomats' families get to come live where they are assigned? This is always a tricky question. In general, I think work/family balance is very good. Family members can travel along with you to most of our assignments around the world. A few of the more dangerous locations have restrictions and are considered unaccompanied tours. The State Department also pays for schooling of children, but some international schools are better than others and this must be taken into consideration when bidding for your assignments. It can be very difficult for your spouse to have a solid career due to the constant amount of moving. 12. What is the biggest misconception people have about your job? The biggest, most frustrating misconception is the fact that most Americans don't even know we exist. Don't ask how many times people have thought I'm in the French Foreign Legion. Also, the Foreign Service isn't an intelligence agency and many people seem to think we're spies for some reason. Those that do know we exist think we spend our time going to cocktail receptions and signing treaties. There is certainly a little bit of that, but most Foreign Service Officers are not assigned to Paris or Geneva. We're in some of the roughest places of the world: Iraq, Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan, Libya, Papua New Guinea, East Timor. Although we are not engaged in combat, we often serve alongside our military colleagues and we almost always stay behind after they leave. The military has pulled out of Iraq, but there are still many Foreign Service Officers there working on development, women's rights, business, infrastructure projects, etc. A colleague of mine here in Afghanistan was killed very recently by a suicide bomber as she attempted to deliver books to school children. The dangers we face are very real and I think all any of us want is a little recognition of that, particularly by some members of Congress who regularly disparage our work. 13. Any other advice, tips, commentary or anecdotes you’d like to share? The U.S. Foreign Service is really more than just a job, it is a lifestyle. You can see the world and will have some of the best stories to share. I had the opportunity to listen to Magic Johnson tell stories about his rivalry with Larry Bird. I scoured the markets of Kyiv, Ukraine once for caffeine-free Diet Pepsi for a Secretary of State. I listened to a Haitian man seeking a U.S. visa explain to me that his fingerprints had fallen off during the earthquake and that must be why my computer said he had a criminal record. I could go on and on with crazy and touching stories. If you are at all interested, I recommend taking the test. Even if it is on a whim. The test is free and if nothing else can give you great bragging rights if you pass. 
  
By Jeremy Anderberg
Welcome to Day #19 of the AoM sandwich project. Last month we asked readers for their best sandwich recommendations. Out of 483 submissions, we picked 20 to highlight here on the site each weekday during the month of April. At the end, we'll publish all the entries into an epic man-sandwich cookbook. Enjoy. Today’s Sandwich: Spam & Egg Breakfast Special by Travis I chose this sandwich for three very clear reasons. First, I love a good breakfast nearly as much as Ron Swanson. Second, the “bun” is a couple of Eggo waffles, and I used to eat Eggo waffles all the time as a kid. And finally, this “sandwich” includes a healthy amount of Spam, which happens to be made in the very town I was born in (Austin, Minnesota). I can’t imagine this breakfast beast disappointing me, but we shall find out… Ingredients 
- Eggo waffles
- Cheddar cheese
- Egg
- Spam (bacon flavored)
- Taco sauce
Step 1: Slice Spam and Fry 
 Fry it up to a nice golden brown. Step 2: Toast Waffles 
Step 3: Fry Egg 
Step 4: Layer Spam  Ended up cooking way too much Spam. Luckily, it makes for a great sandwich later in the day with just bread. Step 5: Add Egg 
Step 6: Add Cheese 
Step 7: Add a “Splash” of Taco Sauce  I used a spicy taco sauce; it was superb. Final Product
Taster’s Notes 
This sandwich was way more tasty than I even expected. I know I had high hopes going into it, but I honestly thought it might be a little weird. The Eggo has some built-in sweetness, which was unexpected. I used to slather mine in so much butter and syrup that you could barely even taste the waffle. The Spam tasted remarkably normal, and went deliciously with the egg and cheese. If you don’t have Spam, substitute any meat, and you’d still have a tasty breakfast. Enjoy with a nice hot cup of coffee like I did, and you’re set for a day of choppin’ down trees in the Pacific Northwest. What a delicious and hearty breakfast; thanks Travis! 
  
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